


roller skate shenanigans

by creveli



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 07:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15769239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creveli/pseuds/creveli
Summary: Connor buys roller skates and Hank is not happy about it





	roller skate shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my first fic!! i wanted to start it all off with something lighthearted bc,, all my ideas so far are Sad. anyways i hope you all enjoy! not much happens  
> this story was inspired by the gorillaz song humility. well, the original story was gonna be connor skating around having fun like the video. all around magic  
> keep in mind this is a crack fic

"You bought  _what?"_

 

Connor was sitting at the dinner table with Hank, the android him eat his unhealthy TV dinner and while going on and on about his day, per usual in the Anderson home. What Connor talked about was typical: how work went, what he learned that day with his newfound deviancy, maybe the occasional complaint about Gavin being, well.. Gavin. Today, however, Connor said something that made Hank look up from his dinner with a look of shock.

 

"Roller skates, Lieutenant. I bought roller skates."

 

Hank blinked once, then twice, before speaking again. "But... why?"

 

Connor frowned. "Why not? It looks like fun to roller skate."

 

"Who the hell have you seen roller skating lately? People around here haven't roller skated in like, years..."

 

"People on the YouTube." Connor said, matter of factly. "They were doing all these cool tricks, too! Like flips and cartwheels-"

 

Hank sighed and put his head in the palm of his hand, rubbing his face in terrible realisation. "Connor,  _no..._ "

 

"-and I watched it think 'wow, this looks like fun! I want to try that!' What could go wrong?" The android was beaming with excitement, a look that Hank saw all the time because literally everything excited him.

 

"Everything, son. Everything could go wrong. What the fuck were you thinking," Hank said as he stood up, taking his dinner and throwing it in the trash.

 

Connor scoffed, crossing his arms. "I was  _thinking_ I should take advantage of my deviancy and have some fun! Besides, I already bought them."

 

Hank turned around, a deep frown on his face as he leaned back against the counter top. "How in God's name did you find a pair of fucking roller skates? I thought they discontinued them like, years ago, when those hover board things became the new thing."

 

"I found some on Ebay for a lengthy price, but don't worry! I used your credit card to pay for them."

 

"...you did WHAT-"

 

"I said I USED YOUR CREDIT CARD, LIEUTENANT!" Connor shouts, thinking Hank hadn't heard him the first time.

 

"Jesus- Stop shouting! And why the fuck did you use my credit card without my permission?" Hank crossed his arms, irritated.

 

"Because you said credit cards are to buy things without actually spending money. So, win win!" The android smiled, giving two thumbs up.

 

"Oh that's bullshit! I would never say something as stupid as tha-"

 

"...Connor..." Hank said, realization dawning on him

 

"What?"

 

"Was I acting... weird when I said that?" 

 

Connor laughed. "Actually, yes! You were. You had just drank a bottle of whiskey, so-"

 

"...oh."

 

"...I see."

 

Hank looked like he was about to rip Connor limb from limb in that moment.

 

"I  _told_ you, Connor, to never listen to me when I'm drunk!" Hank barked, making Connor jump

 

"W-Wait, just- just see the roller skates for yourself! Once you feast your eyes on them, you won't be mad anymore!" Connor quickly turned around and ran towards the front of the house to get them before Hank could interuppt

 

The older man grumbled, looking away while muttering swears under his breath. He stopped once the android had come back, happiness shining on his face like a diamond.

 

"This had better be good, you stealing fuckin' prick," Hank growled, arms crossed and eyes focused on the box.

 

"Oh trust me, this is better than good!" Connor, like he was performing a magic trick, lifted the top off of the box and let out an exaggerated gasp.

 

"Behold!" He squealed, holding up a pair of shoes in his hand with small wheels on the back. Hank analyzed them quietly, before giving the shoes and Connor a stale look

 

"...Connor."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"These aren't roller skates."

 

Connor sputtered, clearly flabbergasted by this conclusion. "What?! Of course they are! They have wheels!"

 

"I know, but- for fucks sake, do I really have to spell it out to ya?!" Stubbornly, the android crossed his arms, silently demanding an explanation

 

Hank sighed. "Connor, these are a pair of shoes made around in the early 2000's for kids who wanted to be like 90's kids."

 

"So...?"

 

"They're Heelys, Connor. They're  _Heelys."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry the ending kinda sucks i didnt know what to do


End file.
